A walk, a run, a mile, a race. Whatever you call it like. A journey it is, A journey of choice.
A journey it is all that we make, A journey it is common to us all,
A journey nothing but a travel through life.
A journey has its joys, A journey has its sprains. A moment or in whole labelled by a choice.
A choice I say it is for it either can be one. It can be the either one, for it is what I choose to say.
The choice in the journey is not just a point in space, it is what defines the journey you just made.
Choices Choices Choices, Thinking of a man to choose what I can call him as.
A choice to label you as. A person not to be, or an example of what not to be.
But where was my lesson of what to be and be and example for others to be.
You ask me as to why you get ignored by me. But are you really worth my time.
Are you really keen for change.
My lessons expect respect for you, A lesson am ready to let go for a place in hell.
Why this pain, why this say. A question many more you may seek.
A question many you seek, but never stand in a place and say I caused this.
Dedicated to all those who realised I did not understand hints and found it easier to tell me directly why they did not want to step out .... Also to the ones who didn't ... And last but not the least for the one I had a huge fight with and threw up tantrums as I found it stupid to travel 100's of Kilometers and not enter a temple which she had promised to go to after my exams - My MoM Apologies for being a jerk, but I still have not understood why does one have to miss out on life . . .
- Dr Jai Arora (via Dr. Rajashree's Whatsapp Status)
[19:45 a friday evening] happened to see a new status as I was about to take a nap, while I waited for a couple friends to wind up their work and continue catching up .. . .. So while I had my seat pulled back, trying to switch off from the noise of the evening rush hour made worse by a celebration at a nearby mutt went back almost automatically to once again read the few words that I saw. Not to understand, but just for once complete read [19:50 - 20:12 the friday evening nap in my car] It was all a cloud, the train of thoughts part from the time I drifted to sleep, bits from the vague conversations in my head and the rest pieces of what sense I could make of it. Btw, I am not sure of the context with which the original quote was made, but sure it was an eye-opener for me towards my total discomfort for having problems around / little issues around me. A fight/tussle/a misunderstanding/ a mistake (especially from me) was something I could not comprehend or live it. It had to be resolved. In short, I could barely sleep till the time I had "solved" the problem. On one side, the ideal side good to be a person who puts an effort at not being an a****e in life. but where was I heading, what was the experience I was leaving the people around me with. In being the perfect person In not being the imperfect person that I am - damages that were being caused. Over the past year(s), have had one of my friends (one of those whom I meet the most) say "You are not the same, like you were 2 years back" Many who do meet on occasions do find me the same (Except for the little extra weight) I not had a fight with my lawyer friend in like ages, maybe not having your late night foodie buddy around for years for a "midnight idly dosa" made the difference . . . and last but not least my best friend the one who really almost never showed any anger (to put in other words, we'd resolve thing sin less than 30s) But coming to it really had a question of why I used to let down some of my closest of close friends (at times). What were they missing from me .... The actual question "Why was I (why were we) not experiencing the joy of being who we are", and I mean, i we did not have a fight what was missing from my side that they did not get to express anger, if we did not have fun, which part of me were my friends missing The answer to my questions lie not in solutions to be perfect, have perfect friendships, have perfect relationships .... but in being who we really are. Where can be a expression of one's self and a experience of living where you do not take the liberty to be the person who you are. And, where one cannot experience being themselves, thinking of letting others be who they are really does sound far fetched So where does this bring me :- Back to the statements someone made some point of time, statements at various points of time, by various people, little advices, little angry statements which really hit me at some point of time. Statements that I took personally as a reason to stop being who I am. Statements that I took personally to be in a particular way. Statements that I took personally to conduct myself in a particular way. Statements that I took personally to make myself mean "There is something wrong in me" And, Chill, Yes!! for starting another round of fixing myself is not what this is all about. The statement above just brought me closer to who I am, neither perfect nor totally defunct. rather to accept the not and never will be perfect be. Oh! and the "Statements that I took Personally" , they were said at some point of time, where they were valid, and with a commitment for me (say like pieces of advice). I do have a choice to stick on and hold on to them, I also do have a choice to be informed by it, and not governed by it. And So .... this is something i dedicate to all the people I am in communication with and who are in communication with me. (if we talk, message, mail, ping, fight, remember, each other - yes this one's for you) While taking up responsibility of my actions and its consequences (including the experiences I left you with).. its me saying Thanks, Sorry, Hi5, etc .... its a pleasure STILL KNOWING YOU :-P