First I request you to read
Slightly Unrelated, but do have a look at (3) this
(did not fine a place to rant @ a few accquiantces of mine, who tried his luck somewhere....
To HIM/THEM : If you are so DESPERATE, get a clue where you should be trying your luck )
There are quite a few links if you go through (1) . . . one link to another to another
One pattern repeating ever and over and over...
A sense of Negativity (shame, guilt, horror, fear, . . . . the list goes on)
There are several areas I know something can be done.
The most important fact i noticed :-
Years and Years after a Incident, I see suffering . . .
My dear Bloggers, (non Bloggers too)
Why do you have to Suffer for no fault of yours . . .
Why dont you just leave behind the Stigma, Pain, Sufferings . . . .
Easier Said than Done . . . .
Btw i'll share my small tiny story . . . .
I was Blackmailed, hmmm!!! at least for 2 years
some random guy from school . . . . asked me if I Loved my parents, teachers . . . .
Of course YES!! I do
So, next couple of years went by like this :-
i'll go tell the Principal that you Love ...... , she will throw you out of school
i'll go tell your mom that you Love . . . . . , She will throw you out of your house . . .
Silly i know, But i was really freaked out
btw this started during my 4th - 5th Standard....
This guy was not my senior, But same as standard/grade as mine, who lived near my Home . . .
So not just torture in the School Van, but during vacations, holidays also . . .
And Today in my mid 20's (eeek!!! i'm getting older)
I am learning What Relationships are . . . And the most Basic ones
Friendships, Trust ... etc
And i'm Damn Bloody Confused . . . (actually much much better compared to last week, he he he)
A BIG HUG , and a thanks from the bottom of my heart to a very Patient, Nice, Forgiving, Trusting, Loving friend of mine . . . .
A Sorry to a Friend, to whom I had become a Pain in the A** with my nonsense . . .
BACK TO THE POST . . . .
So i set about thinking of Probable "solutions" "way out's" to end all the sufferings involved . . .
I set about thinking of solutions like "Forgiveness", "Making them pay" etc etc . . . .
I am currently trying out :-
"Acceptance" "Self Acceptance"
A Little Clue for my School Mates :-
This person used to stick his finger in his Butt and present it other Noses . . .
I "TOOK CARE" of a Voyeur /Peeping Tom
I just ignored a incident with a 80 -85 year old gay man, I meet on the street . . .
And in a way , this Blackmailer, did leave me Stronger in a way . . .
So What was I saying . . .
"Acceptance" "Self Acceptance"
Whatever Happened to you, Happened. . .
You are still the same Person , accept yourself. . . .
There is a Part of me that I find Disgusting . . . .
A relative/person I cannot AVOID . . . Is disgusting
Has done things like throwing condoms into the bathroom where someone is having a bath . . .
Finally married her, but did so by Printing and distributing Wedding Cards, without permission . . .
Caught him flashing to the House maid. . .
*** : Don't expect me to believe you saying " I'm Impotent "
His wife has found a Diary where he has a journal of his "Deeds" . . .
Most of the above secrets . . . Is in no way comforting . . .
I am a Mess Who (now) has a little clue as to what Life is, what relationships are, what love is, what are the forms of love . . .
The "Ethics" Part . . . .
The relative of mine.... will stay in close proximity till his death . . .
How can I ever Conciously get anyone into the Mess surrounding my life . . . .
Do you find ..... That I have to " Accept Myself, The way I am "
TO have any Possibilty for Myself in this Life . . .